Kiddo Dragon

Th Kiddo Dragon

There are, ironically, dozens and dozens of offspring to this particular dragon. Most every one of them is a potential deal-killer with their numbers and ferocity going up exponentially by the number of kids involved.

And, every one of them is a noisy, surly, inconsiderate, dirty little varmint with neither good manners nor discernible hygiene.

Of course, I’m talking about the dragons.

Let’s assume that you both honestly compared your DIDO List Three topics on kids and were in full agreement – on both existing children and any new additions you might actually adopt or procreate between you.Let’s also assume that you both were in fundamental agreement as to whether your primary focus on your relationship was going to be adult-adult or be family-oriented.

If there were any major differences in focus on these very important areas, then the Kiddo Dragon will probably be a lethal one that will threaten the whole relationship, probably day in AND day out – in which case you should both seriously reevaluate if each of your own Happily Here & Now is on the same path.

Kiddo Considerations

Even if there was consistency on those fundamental points, Kiddo Dragons will be everywhere you look, and don’t look.Kids simply introduce so many complications, more often logistics as much as deal-killers, that you both need to honestly and realistically anticipate and discuss this issue as comprehensively as possible.

Since step-children-related-issues are one of the leading causes of divorce in second, and subsequent, marriages, it just makes sense to do all you can to slay as many of these dragons as possible, as early as possible, in the relationship.

If children are a part of either one or both households, here are a FEW of the issues for you both to consider and discuss:

  • At what point in the relationship do you introduce your kids to a prospective Hero or Heroine? Every time you start dating someone new? After one month into the relationship Six months?
  • How, and when, would your prospective Hero or Heroine begin developing a relationship with your kids? You, with their kids?
  • When do you start showing affection, and share the words “I love you” in front of the kids – especially if they have never heard you use those words with someone other than their other parent? What if they had never seen genuine, loving affection between their own parents before?
  • When do you start spending the night with a prospective Hero or Heroine when the kids are at home, especially in a long-distance relationship? If hotel costs are involved every time, who would pay? What would be the aggregate cost as your relationship developed?
  • At what point, when they came to your town, would you have them sleep in the guest bedroom or on the sofa with your kids there?
  • At what point in the relationship would you have them in your bed for the first time when your kids were there? The 100th time? After one month? One year?
  • How often when you will be together would the kids be involved in your activities? Every time? Every other time? Would the answers be different if it was a long-distance relationship? How would the two of you still have private, intimate, quality time to really develop the adult-adult relationship between

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Excerpt from Efficient Love – The Good-Man Methodology. Copyright © 2003-2012 Robert Goodman.
All rights reserved. Used by expressed, written permission of author