My Own Heroine

Does Efficient Love REALLY work? 

It worked for us.  My bride and I used exactly the Method described in my book to find each other and to EFFICIENTLY explore, expand and develop our relationship.  As a direct result, we are already on our own path of Happily Here & Now that is leading us, though each wonderful day and night, to our own Happily Ever After!

If you would like some very personal insights on just how well it worked, and continues to work, for us, keep reading.

Note:  Janet and I wrote this a few years ago – partly before we got married – partly right after we got married. 

We decided to leave this Heroine Found Page pretty much unchanged from then – except to say that after almost NINE wonderful years together, we are both sharing the same path of Happily Here & Now that continues to lead to our shared Happily Ever After.

Robert & Janet

Heroine Found – No Maybe About It

{Excerpt from the Heroine Found page at Novelist Seeks Heroine which has much more detail and many more photos, including wedding photos!  Note: This was written back in 2004.}

Once upon a time… almost a dozen years ago, I began a Quest to find my Heroine.  This page is dedicated to Janet…the woman I found…the Heroine who married me.

My Quest was to find the one who would match all that I sought. On all three lists. Someone who was looking for someone like me.  The following was the executive summary of my pages that related to my own search. This was my first pass at listing what I wanted.

“Seeking Heroine who really is, in every way, ALL of the following:

“Positively Upbeat… Totally Playful… Unstoppably Affectionate …Sensationally Sensual…. Uncontrollably Passionate ….. Story Book Romantic….. Libidinally Zealous…… Enormously Energetic….Head Turningly Attractive….. Lovingly Giving and Receiving from the Heart of Every Single Desire & Need…. Completely Caring & Considerate…. Unbelievably Honest & Forthright…. Prioritizingly Balanced…. Demonstrably Dependable….. Perfectly Fitting – into Size 8 or Less….. Athletically Trim, Toned and Firm….. Urgently Savoring Life….. Brilliantly Bright…..Savvy & Street Wise….. Incredibly Intelligent & Intellectual….. Profoundly & Profanely Literate ….. Both Subtly & Wildly Witty….. Corruptibly Curious….. Elegantly Élan….. Sophisticated with Winks of Reality … Aggressively Adventurous…. Unabashedly Unconventional … Drop-Jawed Uninhibited… Adoringly Unique …..

This was the list to which over 10,000 women responded during a 12 year search.

During that dozen-year Quest, I met many wonderful women, many of whom remain as dear, lifelong friends who will be loved forever. (Update:  Those same wonderful women continue to be dear, lifelong friends!)

But my Quest continued, still seeking the perfect combination of all those listed traits…prompting me to even develop and publish, “Efficient Love – The Good-Man Methodology” and create this massive web site that has 30,000 to 40,000 visitors every month.

Janet

Finally, though, I have met one who is The One – and the one who I plan on spending the rest of my life with…the one and only one, during those dozen years, who I asked to marry me.

I asked…she said yes…and this past October we were married in a small chapel wedding in one of our most favorite spots on Earth….the Smoky Mountains.

Since thousands of readers so diligently followed my dozen-year Quest with so much interest, I’ve dedicated this page to Janet as a way of sharing some of why she is the One.  (Since so many of you have been asking for even more details, I’ve included more nuances than I normally would have described.)

Finding Janet and being blessed with her becoming my wife is the successful culmination of all the effort and all the time spent on my Quest during the past dozen years.  If some of this seems “over the top” it is just that I think she is the most fantastic woman I have ever met!

Janet and I have been together virtually non-stop for the past two plus years (now, nearly nine years.)  She has, as her innate nature, all the traits I had asked for above, plus so much more. 

Janet lived in Tampa about 20 miles from me, is now 43 and has two outstanding, incredibly bright kids:  Susie, 20, who successfully conquered New York City and is starting her third year at NYU under a full four-year scholarship in Environmental Law…and Greg, 18, who was a black belt and cross-country runner senior and who just graduated in May as Valedictorian of his 500 person high school class with the highest GPA ever in the entire Tampa Bay area.  Greg was awarded both a full four-year scholarship to Cornell and the Barnes Scholarship and is on his way to becoming President of the United States. (Update:  Suzie graduated from NYU and law school and is now a full time attorney working for the State of Virginia – and Greg graduated from Cornell and is now in his third year of medical school.)

Obviously, Janet has done an absolutely amazing job – as both a mother and being essentially the sole participating parent in their lives since their birth.  Janet also served as their official teacher when she home-schooled both kids for a total of four years of each of their eight year elementary school education.  Their academic successes and credentials are true testaments of how great a job she did.  She has really excelled as a loving, dedicated Super Mom in EVERY sense of the term by raising Susie and Greg the way she has…and teaching them the important lessons of life, achievement and values.

Janet and I met as a result of this very website.  Before we even met, she had read virtually all 350 web pages I have on this massive, rambling Domain and my relationship book, Efficient Love. As a result, she already knew most everything about me and apparently very much liked what she read.  When we did finally meet, it was the kind of knock-your-socks-and-thigh-highs-off kind of amazing, mutual chemistry we both had always wanted.  During the past 2 years that mutual chemistry has only grown even stronger for us both.

Jan is a wonderful, incredible woman…THE most wonderful, loving, giving-from-the-heart, woman I have ever met…and our relationship is fun and pleasurable and full of total contentment on every level.

Between our great chemistry and the Methodology, the depth of our relationship accelerated and we very quickly moved from mutual Infatuation to genuine Love that will last a lifetime for us both. 

Neither of us is perfect, of course…but we are perfect for each other.

We both share many interests beyond the romantic and our overwhelming mutual chemistry.  These include the mountains, nature, hiking, biking, sailing and especially photography.  But beyond all of that, we share a common sense of our ideal DIDO, day in day out, lives.  Our wonderful compatibility seems all encompassing and without limits…from constant playfulness to being hopeless romantics with non-stop affection and intimacy.  Even the mundane chores and errands of life are a pleasure, together.

A few weeks after we met, when I asked Janet to describe the typical day in her life Five Years into the future, I was stunned that she described almost exactly what I had written for myself and hidden on a secret web page here on this Domain. Jan was equally amazed at how close our shared vision of the future was….and it is just one of so many things we have in common. 

Almost word for word, THAT is what Janet and I plan on sharing as our lifestyle…together.

Janet’s Perspective & Comments

“From our first date, our love started growing almost from the moment we met.  Since I had already read his 350-plus web pages and Efficient Love, his book on relationships, and compared our three lists before we even met, I felt I had known Robert all my life.  Our very romantic first date was almost exactly the way he had predicted on his first date page – with the fantastic, mutual chemistry between us immediately obvious – to both us and everyone we passed on the beach. The single rose I received from Robert that night – I still carry it with me every day.

“During our first date, I remember us first dancing to Joe Cocker’s, ‘You Are So Beautiful’ – which has become OUR song.  Robert really IS so beautiful to me!  In so many ways.  Besides those irresistible, baby blue eyes, his deep sexy mesmerizing voice that still melts me at the core and that brilliant, rocket-scientist mind of his that goes 1,000 MPH, he has THE most wonderful, giving heart of anyone I have ever known…and it shows in almost everything he does.  He has always proven himself in every way to be totally genuine and honest and trustworthy about everything he had described in those 350 web pages – and everything he has ever told me or written me. 

“We are so wonderfully connected and totally compatible on every level…so much so that we both intuitively understand and instinctively respond to every murmur and sigh…every glance…every subtle movement…even from across the room or the other side of the beach.  All of this is so awesome and so amazing to me…and it has been like that since we first met.

“I know with all my heart that Robert is undoubtedly a divine blessing and gift sent directly to me from God…and we both thank God every day for all the happiness we share in our relationship.  Robert has a very special, tender way of ALWAYS making me feel that I am totally loved and that I am the most feminine, cherished and adored woman on Earth.

“I didn’t tell Robert until after he asked – but I have known that I wanted to marry him almost since I began falling in love with him…which was pretty much from the moment we met.  I knew when I read Robert’s pages that I would marry him or that I would probably end up living alone for the rest of my life. 

“I felt I knew exactly what I needed to be happy and it was crystal clear from his writings that Robert had ALL the attributes I valued.  I had received other marriage proposals in the past few years…some from those who barely knew me…but there had been none of them that I had even considered for more than five minutes.  I had decided, even before I met Robert, that I wanted someone who possessed only the very best of hearts, someone who would love me for who I really am, someone who would love me regardless of how I looked and no matter how old I got, someone who had the genuine and important attributes I required, someone who I could spend a lifetime loving in return.  I had decided long ago that if I could not find someone who matched all of that, I would rather be alone for the rest of my life.  I was determined never, ever to settle for less, ever again.

“In Robert’s pages, I found the person who I had been seeking all my life.  All of what his words said…and even all that was silently said between all of those lines…showed me everything about this man that I wanted to know…and all those pages answered almost every question I had.  It was all right there waiting for me to read and discover.  Amazingly, even with my initial doubts, the more I read…the more I found him to be not just some of what I sought…but he was everything.  Even more amazing, Robert is, in fact, exactly ALL of what he wrote.  Every word and every implication.  

“With Robert, I found the man who really does have THE very best of hearts, someone who values and cherishes me for all that I am, even with all my imperfections and idiosyncrasies… someone who I KNOW will love me and find the real me beautiful…even when I am 100 years old…AND he is someone with ALL the attributes I value.  All of that – and we both share the most amazing mutual chemistry I have ever felt in my life.

“We have already shared so much life, and so many incredible times, in the past two years…. including spending at least 80% of all those days and nights together, surviving and even enjoying the “excitement” of at least a half-dozen hurricanes, sharing wonderful times with all of our kids, especially including a household full of love during past holiday seasons…and our two, month-long honeymoons during the last two Octobers in the Smokies.

“One thing that continues to constantly amaze me is Robert’s energy level and intensity.  I may be 14 years younger than Robert…but, often, I can barely keep up – and I usually swear that he is really 14 years younger than me!  It’s a close race but he usually wins by a “nose.”  He tells me that it will probably all even out in another couple of decades – but that is the ONLY thing about our relationship that I doubt!

“In spite of sharing some of life’s inevitable challenges and constraints, and what Robert calls ‘dragons‘, our love continues to grow even stronger and more complete in every way – with my heart actually singing from the joy and fun and spectacular, wonderful Day In and Day Out that we share.

“Our life together is truly what Robert calls “Happily Here & Now” and I want to spend every day and night of the rest of my life, with Robert as my husband, on our way to Happily Ever After together!”

Already on our path…to Happily Ever After…together.

The Weddings

Yes.  Plural.

After we checked  with everyone’s schedules – we ran off and eloped in one of our most favorite spots – the Smokies – during our third, month-long honeymoon there.   We spent all of October there hiking and otherwise frolicking in the fall foliage.  We both love the area so much that we…

….Continued at www.NovelistSeeksHeroine.com